You are so right about thinking through the feelings, talking about them and analysing them all in an attempt to avoid feeling them. And it's the avoidance that causes the tension, the anxiety and the panic. If I can let go and allow myself to feel in my body the tears come and with them the release and the feeling moves on. It's so hard to do and so worth while. It helps if you can find someone to hold you who will do just that until the storm passes. They don't have to be HSP but they do have to understand about holding, not talking and not fixing.
Kristina, I appreciate you sharing your own personal experiences here as you are giving such helpful insights. It's also encouraging to hear that when you were able to surrender and fully let go, there was a release of so much tension and anxiety.
I like this final point you make about finding someone, HSP or not, who has the understanding of how to hold a space, without the need to talk, fix or rescue.
I’d also include incongruence (ie when nonverbal behaviour contradicts a person's words). I’m hyper aware of this and it sets off all my internal alarm bells – I have to remove myself from the person or situation and if I can’t, it causes real internal distress
Thank you Emmie for commenting and such a great point. I think many others here will absolutely resonate with you on feeling a great deal of inner disturbance when a person's non verbals and words are not congruent. Welcome to The HSP Revolution community!
But how do you cope with excess social stimulation when you can’t get away from it? I was on holiday last week and sat by the swimming pool when a family of 10 loud Americans came and sat within 2 feet of my Sunlounger. They were incessantly loud and insensitive for an hour and I felt like I was going mad.
I also really struggled when they put loud dance music on.
Miranda, thank you so much for sharing. I'm so pleased this resonated!
How tough for you on holiday and challenging because others noise is somewhat out of your control. I do think noise cancelling headphones (and ear plugs for nights) are an essential travel item for some HSPs with sound sensitivities. Not always ideal when you're on a sun lounger by the pool, but something to attempt to dampen the loud noise and give you a sense of being more in control?
This is a great topic for a future newsletter as others have raised this same issue before around how to respond to excessively loud sounds.
I do have especially made earplugs and I tried them but I could still hear it. I might try noise cancelling headphones next! It’s funny how it’s only certain types of noises. I don’t mind quiet polite chatter or pleasant music. It’s so subjective.
Great, yes have a look into the noise cancelling headphones. You can get some nice looking ones too. Agree on how subjective it can be when it comes to noise. It can be interesting to get curious about our responses to different sounds. What is it about some noises which provoke such stress within us whilst others feel okay and acceptable?
It is really hard being an HSP outside the mainstream; one motto that helped me reduce my fears and come to peace with finding purpose is to ‘aspire without attachment’.
I try to make happiness a way of life recognising small successes whilst keeping my brains negativity bias under wraps.
I’ve really struggled with finding my calling it can be really frustrating at times; I keep moving forward playing to my own strengths and not comparing myself with others.
You are so right about thinking through the feelings, talking about them and analysing them all in an attempt to avoid feeling them. And it's the avoidance that causes the tension, the anxiety and the panic. If I can let go and allow myself to feel in my body the tears come and with them the release and the feeling moves on. It's so hard to do and so worth while. It helps if you can find someone to hold you who will do just that until the storm passes. They don't have to be HSP but they do have to understand about holding, not talking and not fixing.
Kristina, I appreciate you sharing your own personal experiences here as you are giving such helpful insights. It's also encouraging to hear that when you were able to surrender and fully let go, there was a release of so much tension and anxiety.
I like this final point you make about finding someone, HSP or not, who has the understanding of how to hold a space, without the need to talk, fix or rescue.
I’d also include incongruence (ie when nonverbal behaviour contradicts a person's words). I’m hyper aware of this and it sets off all my internal alarm bells – I have to remove myself from the person or situation and if I can’t, it causes real internal distress
Thank you Emmie for commenting and such a great point. I think many others here will absolutely resonate with you on feeling a great deal of inner disturbance when a person's non verbals and words are not congruent. Welcome to The HSP Revolution community!
Absolutely spot-on as usual.
But how do you cope with excess social stimulation when you can’t get away from it? I was on holiday last week and sat by the swimming pool when a family of 10 loud Americans came and sat within 2 feet of my Sunlounger. They were incessantly loud and insensitive for an hour and I felt like I was going mad.
I also really struggled when they put loud dance music on.
Miranda, thank you so much for sharing. I'm so pleased this resonated!
How tough for you on holiday and challenging because others noise is somewhat out of your control. I do think noise cancelling headphones (and ear plugs for nights) are an essential travel item for some HSPs with sound sensitivities. Not always ideal when you're on a sun lounger by the pool, but something to attempt to dampen the loud noise and give you a sense of being more in control?
This is a great topic for a future newsletter as others have raised this same issue before around how to respond to excessively loud sounds.
I do have especially made earplugs and I tried them but I could still hear it. I might try noise cancelling headphones next! It’s funny how it’s only certain types of noises. I don’t mind quiet polite chatter or pleasant music. It’s so subjective.
I also can’t bear badly behaved children anymore.
Great, yes have a look into the noise cancelling headphones. You can get some nice looking ones too. Agree on how subjective it can be when it comes to noise. It can be interesting to get curious about our responses to different sounds. What is it about some noises which provoke such stress within us whilst others feel okay and acceptable?
It is really hard being an HSP outside the mainstream; one motto that helped me reduce my fears and come to peace with finding purpose is to ‘aspire without attachment’.
I try to make happiness a way of life recognising small successes whilst keeping my brains negativity bias under wraps.
I’ve really struggled with finding my calling it can be really frustrating at times; I keep moving forward playing to my own strengths and not comparing myself with others.