You Don’t Have to Fit In to Belong

A Brené Brown-inspired reminder for HSPs reclaiming their inner sense of worth and belonging

Thanks to my dear friend and co-facilitator Jules De Vitto for creating this beautiful reel, using video clips from last year’s HSP Retreat at The Quadrangle in Kent. It’s set to the words of Brené Brown — words that feel like a lifeline for many Highly Sensitive People navigating a world that doesn’t always understand us:

“Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you don’t belong, because you will always find it. Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you’re not enough, because you’ll always find it. Our worth and our belonging are not negotiated with other people. We carry those inside of our hearts. I know who I am, I’m clear about that, and I’m not going to negotiate that with you, because then I may fit in for you, but I no longer belong to myself. And that is a betrayal I am not willing to do anymore.”

Every time I hear these words, I feel something settle and ground inside me.

So many of us — especially HSPs — have spent years trying to fit in. We’ve made ourselves smaller, suppressed our voices, monitored what we say, managed others’ emotions, and held back what we really feel to avoid upsetting or offending anyone. But as Brené so powerfully reminds us, fitting in is not the same as belonging.

Belonging starts from within — and for HSPs, this can be a profound journey home to ourselves.

Because when you feel so deeply, it’s easy to internalise messages from the outside world that say you’re “too much,” “too sensitive,” or “not enough.” Over time, you may begin to question your instincts, doubt yourself and disconnect from your inner knowing. You start looking to others for cues about who you should be and in doing so, lose touch with who you already are.

But true belonging doesn’t require us to be different. It invites us to come home to ourselves — to honour our sensitivity not as something to fix or hide, but as something wise, sacred and worthy of care. It’s in this coming home — to our bodies, our needs, our boundaries and our gifts — that we begin to reclaim that deep, unshakeable sense of inner belonging.

And sometimes we need safe spaces — what I call islands of coherence — to remember who we really are.

Highly Sensitive Person Retreat: 12–15 June 2025

This is why I’m so delighted to be co-facilitating the UK HSP Retreat next month alongside Jules De Vitto, Alan Piatek and Josh Silver. Held at the beautiful Selgars Mill — a restored 19th-century mill set on eight peaceful acres in Devon — this four-day retreat is for anyone who identifies as a Highly Sensitive Person and longs for a place to rest, ground, and re-energise.

You'll leave the retreat feeling:
✨ Validated in your lived experience as an HSP
✨ Clear on how to talk about your sensitivity with others
✨ More at ease in your body and mind
✨ Confident in expressing your authentic self
✨ Connected to a like-hearted community
✨ Resourced with tools to navigate overwhelm

With just over a month to go, we now have only four places left.

If some part of you feels the call to join us, then you can find all the details and book your place below.

We’d love to welcome you.