Dr Genevieve, thank goodness for you! I have lived all my life behind a mask, a people pleaser, fixer and rescuer. My mother was also an HSP (as was her mother) and we shared a deep connection where I felt heard, seen and validated. Sadly she succumbed to Alzheimer’s and I really miss that deep emotional relationship. Your article today on loneliness really resonated as I’m searching for the connection I had with mum in others but being repeatedly disappointed and frustrated. Perhaps I need to nurture a part of myself? Thanks for your work in helping us HSPs understand ourselves and our world
Elizabeth, I'm so glad to hear the newsletter struck a chord and I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I also felt deeply understood by my mother and have spent a lot time searching for an equivalent connection. I also really appreciate your comment on nurturing a part of yourself. The more that we can come into contact with our true nature, the more available we are to connect with others. Thank you for bringing your presence to The HSP Revolution; I'm sure many people here will relate to your experience.
Your statement, "But this heightened level of awareness can also separate us from others, often leaving us asking: “Why can’t others see what I can see?”" so rang true with me. I find this so frustrating, in fact in truth I have just switched off and withdrawn from ever trying to attain true friendship. I have my wife and son and they are the only people that I have found that I can trust.
Thank you Philip for such a powerful sharing. It can be very painful as an HSP to feel that sense of separation and many of us have gone through our lives feeling this way. I am so glad you find connection with your wife and son and I hope that learning more about high sensitivity will bring some helpful new perspectives on your own experiences.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post - very much appreciated! Feeling a little lighter today, it's just that I get frustrated when you can see something going wrong or you just know that someone is making a bad decision but no one else seems to be able to see it at the time, or until much later when the damage is done/the situation is much harder to recover.
Philip, it's a pleasure and I am glad to hear you have been feeling lighter. I think many other people here will really resonate with what you say. This innate ability to see the bigger picture and to see what others don't can feel like a huge burden and may have become associated with things going wrong. However, there is also another potential perspective; that these innate abilities are in fact one of our gifts and strengths and they are needed now more than ever.
This couldn't have appeared at a more appropriate moment! I'm really struggling to feel seen and heard in a 32 year old marriage, I'm so exhausted, depressed and my "fibromyalgia" is in full flare. I have no idea what one does when its our nearest and dearest that we feel so separate from........ and by crikey I've tried
Sue, I can really feel what a tough time you're having right now and I'm so pleased that this newsletter was a reminder that you are not the only HSP who struggles to feel seen and heard. I've been thinking a lot about how we can build community and I'm going to be writing more about this in next weeks newsletter. I really hope you find some relief from your physical pain. I know that fibromyalgia can be very challenging. So glad to have you here as part of The HSP Revolution.
I really resonate with this. When I spend time with my in-laws, many of whom I suspect are on the autistic spectrum, I feel unbearably lonely. They don’t listen to me at all, talk over me and only ever want to talk about practical things. They become visibly uncomfortable if I ever bring up anything about people or feelings.
After a weekend with them being unable to talk about anything emotional or social, I am absolutely exhausted and bad tempered.
On the opposite side to this, when I mix with my medic friends (I am in the medical profession) I feel invigorated and nourished.
Thank you Miranda for your rich sharing. Yes, finding the tribe where we feel energised and inspired is so important for us sensitives. I'm so pleased to hear that you find such resonance with your medic friends and it's great to have you as part of The HSP Revolution.
I feel exactly the same with my in laws. I get the impression they deny emotions exist. They never talk about "difficult" topics, and don't support each other with feelings, only with practical functional stuff. They put on a good public show outside the family, but are not closely bonded together at all. I feel totally different, and marginalised by them, and have had to cut down my exposure to them, which is construed as awkward behaviour.
Yes probably. It's hard to see how my relationship with them will work in the future. I guess will have to develop different coping strategies. How do you deal with yours?
I try to stay busy as cook and host and keep out of the way. I also look for an ally amongst those present, for example my eldest step son and his girlfriend are great fun and will talk about better subjects.
That gives me the idea that at some point I might be able to talk to another in law who doesn't have the "difficult genes", but knows the family well. I'll work on that......thank you.
This is an interesting thread. I'm autistic and ADHD and I find neurotypical people are very practical and don't want to talk about feelings and prefer shallow conversation. The only time I find any solace is with people on the spectrum who see things as intensely and just as emotionally as I do. But as it is self-described as a spectrum there are so many types of neurodivergent people. Just something to keep in mind
Ecelso, so glad to hear that you recognised yourself in what I wrote! Yes, I agree. I want to take The HSP Revolution to the next level and I'm actively thinking about what this community could become. As I mentioned to Sue below, I am going to be writing more about this in the next newsletter and I really look forward to hearing any thoughts and suggestions you may have in response. Thanks again for all your supportive comments and feedback. It means a lot.
Dr Genevieve, thank goodness for you! I have lived all my life behind a mask, a people pleaser, fixer and rescuer. My mother was also an HSP (as was her mother) and we shared a deep connection where I felt heard, seen and validated. Sadly she succumbed to Alzheimer’s and I really miss that deep emotional relationship. Your article today on loneliness really resonated as I’m searching for the connection I had with mum in others but being repeatedly disappointed and frustrated. Perhaps I need to nurture a part of myself? Thanks for your work in helping us HSPs understand ourselves and our world
Elizabeth, I'm so glad to hear the newsletter struck a chord and I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I also felt deeply understood by my mother and have spent a lot time searching for an equivalent connection. I also really appreciate your comment on nurturing a part of yourself. The more that we can come into contact with our true nature, the more available we are to connect with others. Thank you for bringing your presence to The HSP Revolution; I'm sure many people here will relate to your experience.
Your statement, "But this heightened level of awareness can also separate us from others, often leaving us asking: “Why can’t others see what I can see?”" so rang true with me. I find this so frustrating, in fact in truth I have just switched off and withdrawn from ever trying to attain true friendship. I have my wife and son and they are the only people that I have found that I can trust.
Thank you Philip for such a powerful sharing. It can be very painful as an HSP to feel that sense of separation and many of us have gone through our lives feeling this way. I am so glad you find connection with your wife and son and I hope that learning more about high sensitivity will bring some helpful new perspectives on your own experiences.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post - very much appreciated! Feeling a little lighter today, it's just that I get frustrated when you can see something going wrong or you just know that someone is making a bad decision but no one else seems to be able to see it at the time, or until much later when the damage is done/the situation is much harder to recover.
Philip, it's a pleasure and I am glad to hear you have been feeling lighter. I think many other people here will really resonate with what you say. This innate ability to see the bigger picture and to see what others don't can feel like a huge burden and may have become associated with things going wrong. However, there is also another potential perspective; that these innate abilities are in fact one of our gifts and strengths and they are needed now more than ever.
This couldn't have appeared at a more appropriate moment! I'm really struggling to feel seen and heard in a 32 year old marriage, I'm so exhausted, depressed and my "fibromyalgia" is in full flare. I have no idea what one does when its our nearest and dearest that we feel so separate from........ and by crikey I've tried
Sue, I can really feel what a tough time you're having right now and I'm so pleased that this newsletter was a reminder that you are not the only HSP who struggles to feel seen and heard. I've been thinking a lot about how we can build community and I'm going to be writing more about this in next weeks newsletter. I really hope you find some relief from your physical pain. I know that fibromyalgia can be very challenging. So glad to have you here as part of The HSP Revolution.
I really resonate with this. When I spend time with my in-laws, many of whom I suspect are on the autistic spectrum, I feel unbearably lonely. They don’t listen to me at all, talk over me and only ever want to talk about practical things. They become visibly uncomfortable if I ever bring up anything about people or feelings.
After a weekend with them being unable to talk about anything emotional or social, I am absolutely exhausted and bad tempered.
On the opposite side to this, when I mix with my medic friends (I am in the medical profession) I feel invigorated and nourished.
Thank you Miranda for your rich sharing. Yes, finding the tribe where we feel energised and inspired is so important for us sensitives. I'm so pleased to hear that you find such resonance with your medic friends and it's great to have you as part of The HSP Revolution.
I feel exactly the same with my in laws. I get the impression they deny emotions exist. They never talk about "difficult" topics, and don't support each other with feelings, only with practical functional stuff. They put on a good public show outside the family, but are not closely bonded together at all. I feel totally different, and marginalised by them, and have had to cut down my exposure to them, which is construed as awkward behaviour.
I’m glad it’s not just me! Do you think yours might be on the autism spectrum too?
Yes probably. It's hard to see how my relationship with them will work in the future. I guess will have to develop different coping strategies. How do you deal with yours?
I try to stay busy as cook and host and keep out of the way. I also look for an ally amongst those present, for example my eldest step son and his girlfriend are great fun and will talk about better subjects.
That gives me the idea that at some point I might be able to talk to another in law who doesn't have the "difficult genes", but knows the family well. I'll work on that......thank you.
Good luck with it. Feel free to keep in touch if you need support!
This is an interesting thread. I'm autistic and ADHD and I find neurotypical people are very practical and don't want to talk about feelings and prefer shallow conversation. The only time I find any solace is with people on the spectrum who see things as intensely and just as emotionally as I do. But as it is self-described as a spectrum there are so many types of neurodivergent people. Just something to keep in mind
Thank you for this article really appreciate it
Dr Genevieve, thank you so much!
You described me and my whole life. I never felt so understood.
You correctly suggested us to meet like minded people, who you know are rare.
Wouldn’t it be a good idea to create a network for us? - with it we, your readers, could enjoy our companies and share our thoughts and feelings?
Thank you always! 🙏
Ecelso, so glad to hear that you recognised yourself in what I wrote! Yes, I agree. I want to take The HSP Revolution to the next level and I'm actively thinking about what this community could become. As I mentioned to Sue below, I am going to be writing more about this in the next newsletter and I really look forward to hearing any thoughts and suggestions you may have in response. Thanks again for all your supportive comments and feedback. It means a lot.
Something like a Facebook group would be really helpful.
Thanks Miranda. Absolutely, I'm currently working on creating the HSP Revolution online community space. Will be great to have your voice there.
I shall look forward to that