On Burnout, Part Two
By making sure to structure in downtime, we can beat burnout before it starts.
Welcome to my weekly newsletter building a supportive community for Highly Sensitive People.
Last week, I explored some of the reasons Highly Sensitive People can be especially prone to burnout.
Today, I’d like to offer a few suggestions for how we can stay well. That process starts by recognising that burnout is a sign that you’ve been running your system too hard, for too long.
As James Scurry, a London-based psychotherapist and co-founder of Safely Held Spaces, tells The HSP Revolution:
“We tend to look at burnout as though it’s something to pity: ‘Oh you’re burned out, you poor thing.’ Rather than saying: ‘Wow, your body really knew what to do there and helped you by forcing you to stop.’”
James adds:
“The reality is for most people, unfortunately, that it’s usually when things reach breaking point that they finally listen. We live in a culture where we think: ‘It’ll never happen to me.’ But you can’t just keep asking more and more of yourself, because at some point it catches up. At the end of the day, what it comes down to is: ‘How often are you getting away from the thing that you do for work?’”
I want to start by acknowledging that there’s no simple solution to burnout. The pressures we’re facing are real — whether from work, family or other commitments. If you’re in the midst of burnout, it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault — modern society is essentially a burnout-producing machine, and nobody’s immune.
At the same time, we do possess some agency. If we can identify the patterns in our lives that cause us to push ourselves too hard, or take on too much, we may find we have room to ease some of the pressure. None of this is easy. That’s why I created The HSP Revolution — a place where we can come together to support each other to navigate the joys and challenges that high sensitivity brings.
The below points are by no means a comprehensive list, but I hope they might provide a starting point for examining your own relationship with burnout. As always, I love to hear about your experiences in the comments.
Structure in downtime
If there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to benefit HSPs, it’s making a point of structuring in downtime. So many of my coaching clients are always on the go — but for HSPs, it’s crucial to recognise that your system is designed for regular periods of rest. For so many of us, the idea of taking breaks can seem hopelessly unrealistic, given our crowded schedules. And we might have been conditioned to think that taking time for ourselves is “lazy” — or that we should always put others first.
We need to change our mindset. For HSPs, slowing down from time to time is an essential part of staying healthy. You don’t necessarily need hours or days: Even regular “micro-breaks” to go for a relaxed walk, do some mindful colouring, get out outside or spend an hour away from devices can give you the headspace you need to recharge. Find something that takes you out of your busy mind and make time for it — even five minutes — every day.
Make space for your feelings
So much of the time, we’re putting so much focus into getting things done that we don’t tune in to what our feelings are telling us. If we do this consistently, the body may eventually give us a signal we can’t ignore: burnout.
It can be helpful to take a few moments throughout the day to check in with ourselves:
Start by dropping your attention into your body — notice subtle sensations, aches, numbness, tingling or anything else that’s going on at the physical level. If you find you don’t notice anything, that’s okay too.
After you’ve settled into your body (this may only take a few seconds, but you can spend a few minutes connecting if you have time), notice what emotions are coming up. Is there any trace of sadness, anxiety, anger, or lighter feelings of contentment and connection? Maybe you feel blank — that’s fine too.
Next, observe your mind. Are your thoughts racing? Or is there some spaciousness? Does your mind feel sluggish or is there some clarity there?
Then take a few moments to see if you can bring your awareness to all three levels — body, emotions and mind — at the same time. The goal is not to fix or change anything — just be the witness of your experience.
By choosing to become aware of our inner state in this way, we slow down just enough to receive the subtle messages our body is giving us. This allows us to digest our feelings in bite-sized chunks — rather than storing them up to the point where burnout becomes inevitable.
Notice when you stuff feelings down
HSPs are easily over-stimulated — and it’s tempting to find ways to numb ourselves when we feel irritable, angry, overwhelmed or upset. I’ve recognised how I can unconsciously resort to eating bread or savoury foods to take the edge off tiredness. And in the course of experimenting with giving up caffeine in the past week, I’ve realised how even drinking a few cups of coffee and tea a day — nothing seemingly excessive — had been helping to keep unwanted feelings at bay.
There’s a million ways we can numb ourselves: alcohol, scrolling, online shopping — the list goes on. Activities such as working very hard or exercising to extremes — often applauded in our culture — can be another way to run away from ourselves. But feelings we stuff down don’t go away — they build up in our system. If we let them accumulate long enough without giving ourselves time to process them, then our risk of burnout rises.
Meaningful connections and relationships
We know that healthy relationships are highly protective for our mental health. But it’s tempting as an HSP to withdraw from the world when we’re finding life too over-stimulating. Everyone has to strike their own balance — but investing time in quality connections can help keep burnout at bay.
Stop people pleasing and set boundaries
So many HSPs I work with have grown up learning not to offend, upset or disappoint since it can take so much energy to process the emotions that came up for us when another person reacts negatively. But this reluctance to speak up makes it harder in later life to set boundaries around work, social and family commitments.
Practice communicating authentically by checking in with yourself first so you know you’re coming from the right place. If someone is trying to get you to make a decision on the spot and you feel pressured, you can validate how they are feeling but say: “I’m going to go away and give this some thought.” HSPs need time to think, reflect and mull decisions over before committing.
Explore your fear of conflict
If you find that a fear of conflict is preventing you from setting healthy boundaries at work, it may be worth reflecting on how you experienced conflict growing up. Perhaps our parents swept problems under the carpet to maintain a smiling façade; or maybe there was lots of shouting but no real discussion about underlying problems. Either way, we learned that conflict isn’t safe. As adults, we can revisit that old programming, and remember that it’s okay for us to take care of our needs now.
Sleep and nutrition
It’s so basic that it almost goes without saying, but getting a good night’s sleep and eating properly are so important. So many HSPs I work with struggle with sleep — but there’s a lot we can do to regulate our nervous system to make it easier to get a good night’s rest. I’m going to be devoting a whole newsletter to sleep sometime in the next few weeks — so more on that soon.
Please do feel free to share if any of the above resonated with you — I’d love to hear your thoughts on how HSPs can avoid the burnout trap.
Thank you for being part of the The HSP Revolution community!
See you next week,
It is all to easy to slip back into old patterns that are detrimental and lead to burnout. Last week I was pressured into working very long and unreasonable hours. The extra work disrupted my routine and the lack of sleep left me reaching for the coffee jar and not eating properly. In the past I would have rewarded myself with a well-earned drink, which would mean even poorer sleep, performance and low mood the next day and so it goes on like a hamster in a wheel. Sometimes you have to take a step back to see where you have been going wrong. Poor habits and weak boundaries spiral to the inevitable burnout, thankfully the opposite true!