Forging New Connections at our HSP Retreat
We're already looking forward to organising a similar gathering next year.
Video by Alan Piatek.1
For as long as I can remember, I’ve envisioned bringing people together in a healing and transformative community gathering. Two weeks ago, for a few idyllic days in the Kent countryside, that dream came true.
It was the first Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) retreat that coach Jules De Vitto and I have co-hosted. The depth of connection and coherence we were able to establish among our 20-strong group in such a short time far surpassed our expectations. It was a real joy to create such a nourishing and relaxing space; where everyone had a chance to gradually let go of feeling self-conscious; connect at a deeper level; and explore what really matters to us.
Working Together
Jules and I had the idea of creating a retreat after I appeared on her Highly Sensitive Humans podcast last summer. Although Dr Elaine Aron, the American psychologist who coined the term HSP, and Jacquelyn Strickland have been co-hosting HSP Gathering Retreats in the United States since 2001, we weren’t aware of anything similar happening in the UK. There’s no doubt that creating a retreat is a lot of work: from securing a venue (we were so lucky to find the amazing Quadrangle in Kent), to organising catering and bringing other practitioners on board. Nevertheless, Jules and I felt very grateful at how everything seemed to gradually fall into place.
Like many of us, I’ve spent a lot more time online since the pandemic — having shifted most of my coaching work onto Zoom. I really valued this opportunity to bring people together; to allow us to overcome some of the resistance we might feel to meeting new people; and experience the power of allowing more of our authentic selves to be witnessed in a safe and supportive space.
Going with the Flow
The guiding question that Jules and I used to design the experience was: “What would an ideal HSP retreat look like to us?” That immediately led to the realization that — although there would be a varied programme of structured activities — everything would be optional. Participants would have plenty of opportunities to sit and rest; go for a walk in nature; read a book; and generally tend to their own needs and self-care. Nobody would have to explain to us why they were opting out — it was understood that each person would go with the flow of what felt right to them. It was perhaps a sign of how exhausted many of us feel right now that a fair few took time out on the first day to catch up on sleep.
We started each morning in silence — which immediately took away any pressure to make small talk — then moved onto breathwork sessions with Alan Piatek from Berlin; yoga sessions with Bristol-based yoga teacher and physiotherapist Natasha Da Silva Bjornstad; and London-based yoga teacher Vishal Desai.
We spent the morning sharing as a group or in smaller circles. The first morning I delivered a workshop on “Putting Down the Mask and Owning your Authentic Power as a Highly Sensitive Person,” and Jules delivered a workshop on “Regulating the Nervous System and Self-Compassion for HSPs.”
In my experience, there can often be many more women and just one or two men on retreats. We were fortunate to have a great representation of HSP men (nine in total including our guest facilitators Alan, Vish, Josh and caterer Leon). That meant that on the second day we were able to hold some parallel men’s and women’s groups.
On the first evening, Jules and I delivered a sound bath with a shamanic drum, koshi chimes and crystal and Himalayan bowls, helping participants feel relaxed and ready for bed.
Heart-Opening
Lunches and dinners were a highlight with an outstanding vegan feast created for us by Essex caterer Leon Lewis.
We were very lucky that Leon was able to cater for us since he was about to go to Glastonbury Festival to prepare for one of his biggest jobs of the year. He is so enthusiastic and passionate about his cookery, and pours so much love into his food, that you can really taste it. One night we had six delicious curries to choose from, and Leon’s delicious white chocolate cheesecake was soon demolished. (Leon is a forager so we were treated to freshly picked samphire amongst many other foraged ingredients).
If I were to choose a personal highlight from the retreat, it was the Saturday afternoon (after we started on the afternoon of Thursday, June 15). We had a beautiful, deep and relaxing guided breathwork with Alan, followed by a ceremony where we served Cacao — a heart-opening drink that helped everyone to feel more connected. We then moved into a silent disco facilitated by DJ and conscious dance facilitator Josh Silver. The sun came out, and I felt such joy connecting more deeply with myself, and seeing people really letting go of any remaining self-consciousness; enjoying the music and moving in whatever way felt comfortable for them.
In the evenings, we sat around the fire, sang songs, shared poetry and toasted marshmallows. We closed with a letting-go ritual, which many participants found to be one of the most transformational experiences of the retreat.
An estimated 70 percent of HSP are introverts, and many of us have felt a sense of not belonging, or that we are outsiders. That’s why it was so wonderful to see people start to trust the space, and share from their hearts — whether through our sharing circles, or via songs, poems and chatting around the fire. We were able to have an embodied experience of what it felt like to be more connected to the people around us — and that’s an opening that many of us will take forward into our daily lives.
Thank you to everyone who joined us, participated and supported us in bringing together this amazing HSP community.
We’re already looking forward to hosting another retreat next year — and hope to see you there!
Retreat participants gave their permission to appear in the video and pictures in this newsletter.
Will you be holding another event this summer?