Five ways HSPs make great bosses
When highly sensitive people learn to manage their energy and emotions, they become natural leaders in the workplace.
Welcome to my weekly newsletter aimed at building a supportive community for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs).
Not long ago, I would have found the idea of stepping into any kind of leadership role overwhelming — especially in the stretched local government mental health services where I worked for years as a clinical psychologist. My sensitivity means I can easily get over-stimulated, and I have to take a lot of downtime to avoid burning out. Looking back, I can see that I had an unconscious assumption that you had to be loud, dominant and competitive to climb the ladder. Since becoming a coach, and working with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) in business, finance and the arts, I’ve begun to gain a deeper understanding of our unique leadership qualities. If we can grow our self-worth; avoid the temptation to hide away when it all gets too much; and learn to take a balanced view of both the strengths and vulnerabilities that go with being an HSP, then we can each learn to lead in our own unique way. With all that’s going on in the world, the more of us who can step up, the better.
So far, I haven’t been able to find a huge amount written about HSPs and leadership — apart from positive references to HSPs in various business books by coaches such as Justin Menkes and Daniel Pink. (I’d love to hear any recommendations for good reads on HSPs and leadership — please feel free to share in the comments). Since The HSP Revolution is all about community and empowerment, I’m going to suggest five of the key traits that help HSPs to be better leaders than old-school authoritarian bosses:
Deep processors1 – HSPs are naturally deep thinkers, who tend to weigh up all the potential outcomes of a choice — rather than acting impulsively. That makes us reliable decision-makers, capable of taking into account a wide range of perspectives — useful qualities in somebody running a team. John Hughes, a leadership coach, nailed this point in a 2015 LinkedIn post:
“HSPs naturally prefer to process input they’ve taken in versus taking action and speaking. We are more likely to fade to the background in meetings, preferring instead to listen, observe, and process…Team members feel more valued as they are allowed to speak and contribute freely, without the prospect of being shut down by an over-anxious leader eager to push their own ideas or move their agenda forward.”
Creativity and imagination — As HSPs, we’re the creators, innovators and visionaries who love big picture thinking but also pay attention to detail. We’ll often find ourselves thinking several steps ahead during meetings, and we’re capable of sophisticated strategic thinking to achieve our goals. Melody Wilding, a coach who specialises in working with HSPs, put it like this:
“In fact, studies have shown that HSPs have more active mental circuitry and neurochemicals in areas related to attention, action-planning, decision-making, and having strong internal experiences. In other words, you have a deep capacity to channel your focus with precision, make thoughtful choices, and spark rich insights to bring great ideas to the table.”
Expert listeners — All HSPs know that we have to manage our empathy carefully — otherwise we can quickly feel drained. But this capacity to give people the experience of deep listening leaves us uniquely placed to build cohesive teams, where each member feels valued and seen. I loved this 2018 Ted Talk talk on this theme by coach Caroline Ferguson:
“We can’t help putting ourselves in your shoes and feeling some of what you’re feeling. We pick up on your body language. We tend to have a very strong mirror neurons so we mirror your posture and your vocal tones, and you like being with us because we make you feel good, you feel seen and heard by us.”
Social alchemists — HSPs can intuitively sense who in a team is thriving — and who is struggling; which colleagues will work well together, and who absolutely won’t. And we’re equally good at giving feedback — making sure that people don’t feel devalued if we have to offer constructive criticism, and knowing how to give authentic praise that truly lands. With our natural ability to read group dynamics, we can defuse conflicts before they start — and get the best out of a team. Harvey Deutschendorf, an emotional intelligence expert, says HSPs can read the “pulse” of an office:
“Since HSPs notice more subtle details in their environments, they are more emotionally impacted by social stimulation and will notice the “pulse” of the workplace energy, which can be very helpful. They notice little details that others may miss, such as subtle body language or small changes to an environment. They are the first to notice if a colleague gets a new haircut or if someone is upset.”
“Quiet leadership” — HSPs aren’t in it for ego and power: We gain our energy from empowering others; fostering group coherence; and building community. Supporting others to speak out and shine comes naturally to us — and sends positive ripples through any workplace. Here’s writer, creative, educator, and sensitivity researcher: Tracy Cooper:
“Quiet leadership is a style of leadership that I feel many HSPs may feel comfortable embodying because it does not ask that you be the center of attention, nor that you make all the choices, or operate in an aggressive and domineering way. Rather, quiet leadership amplifies what is likely already your preferred way of mentoring and guiding others: through helping them realize the abilities and talents already within themselves that just need fertile ground in which to bloom. We quiet leaders provide that lush loamy garden spot for others to grow and become what they are capable of, while still reaching our goals and deriving great meaning from how we choose to embody leadership.”
These are just a few ideas — there’s plenty more to say on the subject of HSPs, leadership and the workplace. I also plan to explore ways we can manage the difficulties HSPs face at work: from the over-stimulation of dreaded open plan offices; to handling bosses with high-conflict personality styles; and the challenges of staying regulated and energised in a demanding job. I’m looking forward to tackling all of these issues and many more in future editions of The HSP Revolution.
Thank you for joining the journey so far — and see you next week!
Dr Genevieve
I sometimes think “Deep Processors” would be a better description than “Highly Sensitive People” since the term speaks more directly to the core of the experience, and doesn’t have the negative associations that even many HSPs associate with the word “sensitive.”