I can completely relate to your anecdote about performance anxiety. I sang a hymn in church at 11 years of age and also couldn’t hit the high notes. Once the concert had finished my Mother clearly feeling embarrassed by my recital said that I was awful (or words to that affect). I felt a great sense of shame, perhaps this is also were my performance anxiety kicked in? The good news is I learned to play the guitar in order to express myself and performed at the Glastonbury Festival when I was 21 with fond memories.
I have spent a great deal of my life thinking there was something different or wrong with me. My parents say to this day what a terrible child I was. Only now am I becoming sceptical about these notions. Both my parents are highly sensitive individuals, kind and gentle yet quick to offend and get angry. My Dad became a born again Christian, this didn’t go down well with my enquiring mind, I learned that speaking out can result in conflict and rejection. In the end all things considered I didn’t turn out too bad ha!
I don't find it easy speaking or writting in public, I sometimes delete the posts I have put out on social media, but one has to be bold in all aspects of life and stepping into discomfort and doing what is difficult is the only way to continued growth.
Matt, thanks for such a rich, honest and powerful share. Yes, you are so right stepping into discomfort takes courage and it's certainly how we meet our growth edge. It seems to me like you are modelling speaking up beautifully right here. Thanks again for being a part of this community and for all your sharing.
I recognise many of the behaviours you describe. Recently I have been trying to speak up at work but I have been told that it comes across as dismissive or condescending, when what I am trying to do is sound authoratative. Perhaps it is not coming across as I want becuase I have not had enough practice at putting my point across. Do you have any advice for how to manage this? Thank you.
Maria, thanks so much for your comment. Speaking up can be difficult especially when we are not used to it. In my experience, the key is to be as embodied as possible. Take some slow, deep, belly breaths to slow your system down before you start talking and try to speak slower than you normally would. That will help you to tune into your authentic voice. It's like learning an instrument, the more you practice, the more confident you'll become.
This stuff is spot on. At the advanced age of 62, I am just discovering my HSP roots. With maturity, I am a confident speaker, but not about this topic. I have never found a tribe to speak to or with. So I most resonate with your comment
....."As far as you can, surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, and welcome your authentic self".
I really hope I might find a "home" through HSP Revolution. Thank you.
Julia, I am so glad you are finding these newsletters helpful and I'm looking forward to developing more opportunities for HSPs to connect. Thank you for being part of this growing community!
Dear Dr Genevieve,
I can completely relate to your anecdote about performance anxiety. I sang a hymn in church at 11 years of age and also couldn’t hit the high notes. Once the concert had finished my Mother clearly feeling embarrassed by my recital said that I was awful (or words to that affect). I felt a great sense of shame, perhaps this is also were my performance anxiety kicked in? The good news is I learned to play the guitar in order to express myself and performed at the Glastonbury Festival when I was 21 with fond memories.
I have spent a great deal of my life thinking there was something different or wrong with me. My parents say to this day what a terrible child I was. Only now am I becoming sceptical about these notions. Both my parents are highly sensitive individuals, kind and gentle yet quick to offend and get angry. My Dad became a born again Christian, this didn’t go down well with my enquiring mind, I learned that speaking out can result in conflict and rejection. In the end all things considered I didn’t turn out too bad ha!
I don't find it easy speaking or writting in public, I sometimes delete the posts I have put out on social media, but one has to be bold in all aspects of life and stepping into discomfort and doing what is difficult is the only way to continued growth.
Matt, thanks for such a rich, honest and powerful share. Yes, you are so right stepping into discomfort takes courage and it's certainly how we meet our growth edge. It seems to me like you are modelling speaking up beautifully right here. Thanks again for being a part of this community and for all your sharing.
I’ll enjoying reading the weekly newsletter, I can see a lot of work goes into it! Thank you!
Thank you!
I recognise many of the behaviours you describe. Recently I have been trying to speak up at work but I have been told that it comes across as dismissive or condescending, when what I am trying to do is sound authoratative. Perhaps it is not coming across as I want becuase I have not had enough practice at putting my point across. Do you have any advice for how to manage this? Thank you.
Maria, thanks so much for your comment. Speaking up can be difficult especially when we are not used to it. In my experience, the key is to be as embodied as possible. Take some slow, deep, belly breaths to slow your system down before you start talking and try to speak slower than you normally would. That will help you to tune into your authentic voice. It's like learning an instrument, the more you practice, the more confident you'll become.
This stuff is spot on. At the advanced age of 62, I am just discovering my HSP roots. With maturity, I am a confident speaker, but not about this topic. I have never found a tribe to speak to or with. So I most resonate with your comment
....."As far as you can, surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, and welcome your authentic self".
I really hope I might find a "home" through HSP Revolution. Thank you.
Julia, I am so glad you are finding these newsletters helpful and I'm looking forward to developing more opportunities for HSPs to connect. Thank you for being part of this growing community!