Why music is medicine for HSPs

Cultivating a deeper relationship with sound, tone and rhythm can help manage the daily challenges that come with high sensitivity

Music has been at the centre of my life since I took my first breath. My mother Amanda was a wild child who sang in pubs and clubs before having me as a single parent at the age of 21. Soon afterwards, she won a scholarship to train at the Royal Academy of Music. We moved to a tower block in east London so that she could pursue her dream of performing as an international mezzo soprano. The first tune I managed to pick out was Voi che sapete from Mozart’s Marriage of Figaro, which I learned to hum at the age of two. When my mother was killed in a car accident seven years later, I poured every spare moment into learning to sing, play piano and dance. With the adults around me numbed by the shock of my mother’s death, music was the medicine that helped me to grieve and slowly begin to heal from the loss.

While I would go on to train as a clinical psychologist, music and singing would always be my passions — and I love learning about the many ways song, sound and rhythm can benefit Highly Sensitive People (HSPs).

Healing tones

At the weekend, I was lucky enough to participate in my second two-day sound healing training with the wonderful Rob and June Dickerson. A small group of students learned how to work with clients using exquisitely tuned Himalayan singing bowls. I adore the richly resonant tones these bowls make — their notes are so pure and transporting that they seem to open portals to other worlds. Here’s a photo I took from the hotel afterwards — after spending a day marinating in the beautiful sonic vibrations of the workshop, I could almost hear these trees speaking:

The weekend got me thinking about how music can be a huge resource for HSPs — especially if we begin to develop a more conscious relationship with the various ways it can help us to navigate our big feelings, connect with our bodies, and serve as an antidote to the loneliness many of us feel. Here’s some initial thoughts, and as always I love hearing about your experiences in the comments below:

Music helps HSPs feel connected: If you’re anything like me, then you may find that music you love can envelop you in a warm, almost tangibly comforting presence — and leave you feeling a little less alone. Neuroscience has started to explore why this might be. In 2018, U.S. and European researchers published a study that showed that highly empathic people had significantly higher activity in the reward centres of the brain when listening to music they enjoyed. The finding hinted at an extraordinary possibility: HSPs might actually derive greater pleasure from music than people with lower levels of empathy.

The study also shed light on the special power of music to make us feel nurtured and held. Lead researcher Zachery Wallmark of Southern Methodist University told Greater Good Magazine that the findings suggested that our brains may process music using the same neural circuitry involved in social engagement — which might explain why music can help alleviate feelings of loneliness among HSPs.

“When we listen to music or engage in music, it’s essentially social engagement,” Wallmark said. “Higher-empathy people, who are more sensitive to social stimulus, hear music as if in the virtual presence of another person.”

Soothing our over-stimulated nervous systems: Music can be immensely beneficial in helping us to self-regulate — especially after a long day of soaking up other people’s feelings. Try putting together a playlist of your favourite relaxing tracks that you can turn to when you’re feeling frazzled. Many of my coaching clients use recordings of natural sounds such as rain, surf or woodland to help them sleep. Solfeggio tones (easily available on YouTube or Spotify) are also very calming.

Letting it all out: When I can sense that my emotional bucket is full, I know that I have to find a way to release all that suppressed feeling. That may be easier said than done, especially during a busy work week. I try to structure an hour when I know that I won’t be disturbed, put on moving music, and simply let the tears flow.

We all know how much better we feel after a good cry. And researchers have discovered that crying helps wash many types of stress hormones out of the system, while also releasing a natural painkiller called leucine enkephalin. Nevertheless, family therapist Susan Stiffelman says that she often sees people with what she calls ‘dry-eyed syndrome’: no matter how intense their sadness or grief, they simply cannot start releasing by crying. I’ve also spent years struggling to connect to my own tears, and I’ve heard many clients say: ‘I know the tears are there, but I just can’t cry.’

If you’re struggling to let go, then the right music may help. Here are some of my favourites for having a good sob (and I’d love to hear about yours in the comments):

• I am safe by Beautiful Chorus

• The Power is Here Now by Alexia Chellun

• In Dreams, by Jai-Jagdeesh

• All Related by Nessi Gomes

• Azure by Greg Haines

• Ma (Meditation) by BenJAHmin

• Nature by East Forest and Ram Dass

Let the water wash away your tears,

Let the fire burn away your fears,

Let the wind blow into your life such faith and trust, oh

Let the earth hold you, take care of you and nurture you, oh

The Power is Here Now, by Alexia Chellun

Community: Music is an amazing way to build group coherence — from singing in choirs to dropping into the body via 5Rhythms dance, which formed a big part of my own healing journey. When I was studying for my clinical psychology doctorate, I wrote my thesis on the power of group singing to help people recover from stressful life events such as illness, divorce, redundancy, bereavement or financial distress. Whether you like to sing, dance or play an instrument — connecting with others through music has huge benefits.

As always, I’d love to hear about your experiences with music in the comments — and please do share this HSP Revolution newsletter with anyone who might benefit from joining this community. Thank you for your support.

Until next week!