Sensitive Men Rising: Inside the new Documentary
Will Harper's film looks at masculinity through a different lens.
“Sensitive men are the most important people in today’s world. We need you and we need you to nurture yourselves so you can be all you were born to be.” — Alane Freund.
Will Harper, director of a series of documentaries on high sensitivity, has spent the past few years working on a new film called Sensitive Men Rising, which premiers in San Francisco on Sunday. (You can book a ticket to the livestream here).
Here’s the trailer:
I can’t wait to watch Will’s latest production — which builds on the success of his films Sensitive: The Untold Story, featuring Alanis Morissette (2015); Sensitive and In Love; and Sensitive Lovers: A Deeper Look into Their Relationships (both released in 2020).
Awareness of high sensitivity has grown markedly in recent years, helped by Will’s films, and books such as Sensitive by Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo, which have amplified the pioneering work of Dr Elaine Aron, the psychologist who coined the term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Nevertheless, my sense is that the conversation around high sensitivity and men is in many ways only just getting started, and Sensitive Men Rising has come at a perfect time to drive the discussion forward.
So it was great to join a prelaunch discussion panel on Saturday to explore what it’s like to be a highly sensitive man; what it’s like growing up as a highly sensitive boy; and how can we raise the next generation of highly sensitive boys and men.
Alane Freund, an International Consultant on High Sensitivity, appeared at the event alongside Tracy Cooper, a fellow sensitivity consultant who served as a producer on the film, and Brian Torres, Greg Johnson and André Bloodstone. You can watch their discussion on YouTube below.
By featuring a a wide range of highly sensitive men and their stories, the film’s producers hope that everyone will find at least one story they can relate to — opening the door to a longer, emergent dialogue about high sensitivity and men.
“We didn’t want it to be a panel of experts,” Tracy Cooper explained. “We wanted it to be real people telling stories of struggle, of heartache, pain and suffering but also how they’ve overcome those things. We wanted to provide those tool kits so that you can understand that it can be tough at times but there are ways you can succeed in life and ways you can make it sustainable for yourself.”
I thought I’d share some of the key themes that came up during the panel discussion in the hope that this edition of The HSP Revolution will spark some further reflection on sensitivity and men, to expand on what I wrote on this topic in September :
‘Something Wrong’
One of the most poignant realisations was that many highly sensitive men have grown up feeling that there’s something wrong with them at their core, since masculinity has so often been associated with being tough and aggressive, or avoiding overt displays of emotion (particularly tears). Sensitivity has often, by contrast, been associated with femininity — which can carry cultural associations of being soft, weak and fragile. As Alane Freund observed during the webinar: Highly sensitive men have often learned to hide their strong emotional reactions. “We want our men to be sensitive but not highly sensitive,” Alane said.
Panelists asked how we can we open our minds as a culture to a more expanded concept of masculinity, that makes room for the gifts that high sensitivity brings.
Part of the answer, panelists said, could be to raise awareness that high sensitivity (also called sensory processing sensitivity) is a real temperament, validated by a growing body of scientific research, and distributed evenly between men and women.
As Tracy Cooper put it:
“The more we raise the self-awareness that sensory processing sensitivity is a real thing the more acceptable it becomes. The more there is a dialogue and the more awareness there is for men and for women and people in general, the more that the conversation is normalised.”
Initiation
Panelists asked how we can best support highly sensitive boys and men to be more empowered to own their sensitivity — particularly given the level of confusion around what it means to be a man in our world today. What does healthy initiation look like for men? And how might this connect with being an HSP?
Brian Torres suggested that — while there can be a lot of discussion of the challenges that go with high sensitivity — it’s important to think of sensitivity as a superpower that men can embrace.
Brian said:
“I don’t think we give enough credit to HSPs. We also feel all the positive emotions more deeply. I experience great pain, but on the other side of that I have capacity to experience great joy. It’s helpful for me to remind myself that whilst the hard experiences feel harder, the good experiences might feel better.”
Greg Johnson, a composer and musician who appears in the film, agreed, saying that rather than seeing strong emotions as a “burden,” men could appreciate the value in feeling deeply. Greg said:
“Sometimes emotions come out too strong for people. As a performer, I cry a lot. In fact in the movie, I’m crying. I might speak loudly because I’m very passionate about things. These are not bad things. What I’ve found is being authentic and being willing to risk being able to say precisely what I feel when I feel it. Always say it with love and compassion and understanding.”
Awakening
Panelists observed that it can be a real wake up moment when a man discovers he is highly sensitive — what Alane Freund calls being a “newly awakened HSP.” Greg Johnson said that discovering he was highly sensitive was “life affirming, life shattering. It made everything in my life make sense.”
There was some rich conversation around the question of how far traits found in high sensitivity may overlap with aspects of mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). This led to an emphasis on the importance of medical providers understanding that high sensitivity is a healthy temperament found in about 20-30 percent of the population. Alane Freund recommended sharing Will’s first documentary on high sensitivity Sensitive the Movie with healthcare practitioners.
Clarion Call
Sensitive Men Rising aims to foster community among highly sensitive men — showing the power of coming together intentionally to relate at a deeper level. As the filmmakers point out, there are a billion highly sensitive men in the world, and they hope the documentary will normalise their struggles, so they can share their gifts more fully — gifts the world sorely needs.
As Tracy Cooper put it:
“We are focusing on highly sensitive men, but by extension those men go on to become transformative leaders, transformative healers, and educators. All these things that we need highly sensitive men to express out in the world. This film will be a clarion call. If they are hiding away, to entertain this idea that maybe they are highly sensitive and maybe that’s not such a bad thing. And maybe we provide a way for you to learn about through this film. It’s such a burgeoning time with all these resources. It’s a wonderful time to be alive as a highly sensitive person.”
I also recommend this message to highly sensitive men from Alane Freund:
After listening to the discussion, I felt especially proud of the great turnout of amazing men who attended the HSP Retreat that coach Jules De Vitto and I co-hosted in Kent last month. Here’s a photo to celebrate them all:
I very much hope you’ll watch Sensitive Men Rising, and I would love to hear any resonance you feel with the film.
Thank you for reading!
