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The idea that taking a few minutes each day to repeat positive affirmations can boost our well-being has been an article of faith in the self-help movement for decades.
For many, it sounds too good to be true.
I’ve noticed that affirmations have something of a Marmite quality: Some people intuitively embrace the concept, while others dismiss the idea of talking yourself into a better mood as a form of “toxic positivity,” or spiritual bypassing.
While there’s no doubt that affirmations have to be used with discernment, I have experienced their benefits first hand — and have used them successfully in my work with many of my clients. What’s more, there are plenty of studies to suggest that regularly practising positive affirmations — provided they feel authentic and believable — can help reduce stress and change our behaviour in positive ways.
With all this in mind, I did something I’ve been dreaming of doing for years a few weeks ago: Treated myself to some time in a local recording studio in south-west London. While I sadly don’t get many opportunities to sing these days, I did spend an hour recording a 27-minute affirmation track that I created specifically to be a soothing and inspiring daily pick-me-up for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs). It’s available free for members of The HSP Revolution online membership community, which I launched a few weeks ago. It’s a warm and supportive space for HSPs to support each other as we learn to bring our gifts into the world with greater ease, confidence and flow — and I very much hope you’ll consider joining me there (for more details, please click here).
My Experience With Affirmations
When I was undergoing a period of intense anxiety and uncertainty in my own life about 10 years ago, I found affirmations a reassuring anchor to start my day.
I would write supportive phrases in my journal such as “I am kind to myself” then type them into my phone and read them over and over again while commuting. I’d also find affirmation tracks I liked online and listen to them in my headphones.
I soon recognised that I felt better when listening to gentle, realistic statements, such as “I’m doing my best each day” or “I’m helping myself” — which allowed me to speak to myself in a more encouraging way. When you’re feeling very negative, the last thing you want is to be making statements that simply don’t feel true, such as “I am beautiful” or “I love my life.” But by creating my own, reassuring statements, and committing to repeating them in my head every day, I gradually began to notice the harsh voice of my inner critic soften a little, and my confidence improve.
More recently, I spent a lot of time listening to positive affirmations as part of a course to support people building online businesses. I’d just had my daughter, and was trying to figure out a vision for a coaching business. The affirmations helped me build the momentum I needed to go self-employed, rather than return to my job in local government mental health services.
So I’ve had experiences of using affirmations both to help me through a difficult period in my life, and reach for new goals. And I’ve since realised that the effects I noticed aligned closely with the findings of numerous research studies.
Brain Basis
There’s now a substantial body of evidence to suggest that positive affirmations can boost well-being — especially if you stick to them over a prolonged period.
Nevertheless, it’s important to remember that forcing yourself to say positive affirmations that just don’t ring true for you probably isn’t a good idea.
A study reported in the Journal of Psychological Science in 2009 found that people with low self-esteem felt worse after saying positive affirmations — although their mood improved when they were allowed to consider negative thoughts.
The trick is to develop affirmations that seem plausible. That might mean starting, like I did, with modest statements such as “I am working toward being more confident,” or “I am developing more compassion for myself” rather than going straight to statements such as “I am confident” or “I love myself.”
The Washington Post ran a good, in-depth article on affirmations last May, quoting experts including David Creswell, a psychology professor at Carnegie Mellon University who researches self-affirmation. Creswell explained that effective affirmation isn’t thinking:
“‘I want to pump myself up and find ways to say how much I like myself.’ It’s more about really identifying, in really concrete ways, the kinds of things about you that you really value.”
Creswell went on to explain that affirmation activities can stimulate the same reward centres in the brain turned on by sex or drugs:
“There’s a really cool brain basis for these self-affirmation effects. They’re really turning on the brain’s reward system, and that reward system is sort of then muffling your stress alarm system in ways that can be helpful.”
So, though some people may scoff at affirmations — the scientific view is that they can be helpful — if approached in the right way.
I hope you enjoy the track I created in The HSP Revolution community. Better yet — write and record some specific affirmations for yourself, and watch how your mood and appreciation for daily life improves.
See you next week!