Glimmers
You're familiar with your triggers, but do you devote enough time to savouring their opposites?
The other day, I was driving my five-year-old daughter home from a birthday party, when I spotted a rainbow through the windscreen. After three hours surrounded by cake-fuelled children bouncing around a cavernous soft play, my nervous system was feeling distinctly frazzled. As we gasped in delight, I noticed a feeling of presence and calm settle around my body. (My daughter is deep in a rainbow-drawing phase, so she enjoyed naming each of the colours). Taking a moment to savour the vibrant shades arcing across the sky, I felt the overwhelm from the party start to fade.
It’s now common to hear people refer to their “triggers” — situations that activate strong emotion because they remind us of a past trauma. But there’s now a growing appreciation of the value of “glimmers” — stimuli that have the opposite effect to triggers by signalling to our nervous system that we’re safe and well.
Micro-Moments
Psychotherapist Deb Dana coined the term glimmer in her 2018 book The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy. Dana works closely with neuroscientist Stephen W. Porges, who developed the influential Polyvagal Theory of trauma — named after the central role Porges attributes to the vagus nerve, which sprawls down from our craniums into our guts. Porges argues that making a conscious effort to appreciate everyday micro-moments of joy, clarity or connection can help us to proactively regulate our nervous systems — even when we’re stressed. Dana saw the term “glimmer” as a simple way to convey this empowering idea to a wider audience.
It’s great to see the concept catching on — not least on TikTok. In the below video, which has had nearly 85,000 views, therapist Justine Grosso (@heydrjustine) explains that glimmers can be anything that spark a sense of calm, peace, awe or belonging.
Positive States
As deep processors of sensory input, thoughts and emotions, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) can often be very aware of our triggers, and prone to dwell on the areas of our lives that aren’t going so well.
That means it’s especially important for us to take every opportunity we can to savour moments of joy, inspiration and relaxation to help our nervous systems relax.
The idea isn’t to bypass or avoid difficult feelings, but to make an intentional effort to access the positive emotional states that have been shown to improve our physical health, decrease stress and increase longevity.
If you’re suffering from the effects of trauma, or feeling particularly down, then glimmers may seem out of reach. We might even feel guilty for enjoying lighter moments if we’re going through a particularly difficult time. But remember — as the name suggests — a glimmer need only last a moment to have a positive effect. Try setting an intention to look for one glimmer each morning, or experiment with a glimmer journal to reinforce the effects of glimmers at the end of each day.
Some of my favourite glimmers include:
Seeing a rainbow
A flower growing out of a crack in the pavement
Warmth of the sun on my face
Watching flowing water
Hugs
Petting a dog or cat
A really uplifting conversation
A random act of kindness
Appreciating a tree, flower or plant
Seeing butterflies
A stranger smiling warmly in the street
The smell of freshly cut grass
Stars on a clear night
A ladybird landing on my hand
Smell of freshly baked bread
Moving my body
Playing with my daughter
I’d love to hear about your glimmers in the comments.
Thank you for reading,
I already love the idea of looking for these little moments each day but the name ‘glimmer’ makes it even more inviting! Some of my glimmers include:
*Children’s laughter
*Cherry blossom
*Sunshjne streaming in through the window
I’m sure there’s a lot more that I haven’t yet noticed!