Five ways the term "HSP" has helped me

From setting healthy boundaries to scheduling guilt-free downtime, learning you are highly sensitive can help you make better choices

Last week’s Guardian article on Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) started me thinking about the many ways the concept has helped me since I discovered Dr Elaine Aron’s work a decade ago. There’s too much to cover in one post, but here are five of the key ways in which learning I was an HSP gave me greater clarity:

• Normalizing our hyper-sensitivity: Being able to feel what other people are feeling can be a heavy burden. As a child, I found it almost intolerable to be around people who were hiding their authentic feelings. I often sensed that I was talking to a mask. Reading about HSPs helped normalize my experience and reassured me that there was nothing wrong with feeling so intensely.

• Setting Boundaries: Because we have so much empathy, HSPs naturally attract people who want us to listen to their problems. A lot of us end up drained by always giving so much and taking on other people’s stuff. I learned that setting healthy and compassionate boundaries is essential to preserving my energy.

• It’s okay to have only a few close friends: As children, HSPs learn to play the game to fit in — while craving greater depth and meaning in their relationships. HSPs love to talk about their feelings, their sense of purpose, healing and other “deep” topics. Gossip and celebrity culture leaves us empty. I learned that as an HSP it’s okay to focus on cultivating quality connections with a small number of people who really see us, rather than succumbing to pressure to have loads of friends.

• Process your emotions through your body: Before I learned about HSPs, I would spend enormous amounts of mental energy over-analyzing myself. I realize now that HSPs have to get out of our heads and find ways to process our emotions through our bodies. Dancing for me is a big one, but getting into nature can also be a great way to ground. (Feel free to share your tips below).

• Scheduling downtime: Once I’d qualified as a clinical psychologist, I worked hard and played hard, and often felt drained. When I learned that HSPs need unstructured downtime and plenty of sleep, I began to organize my working life differently. Dr Aron’s work helped me give myself permission to rest and recuperate so I could function properly over the long-term and not burn out.

I’d love to hear if you recognize yourself in any of the above points, and how learning about HSPs has helped you. I always appreciate it when people post comments!

See you soon!

Dr Genevieve